My mother’s beautiful, sassy, high-heeled RED shoes, found days after she died, hidden – unworn – in the back of her closet have become symbolic of how she, and so many of us, lived her life. They represent the parts of herself she kept hidden: the unresolved hurts and disappointments from her past; the dreams she had for her future that she never came to realize; and the everyday delight she denied herself.
Those RED shoes also illuminate the steps we can take to become the fully alive version of ourselves we are here to be:
Step 1: R – RELEASE the Past
Step 2: E – ENVISION the Future
Step 3: D – DELIGHT in the Present
If it was easy to release the past, we’d all be floating through life, free of emotional baggage. If it was as simple as just letting it go, we would. I have found that the most powerful way to release the past is by turning towards it and loving it exactly as it is. Every emotional charge you have about something in your past is showing you what you have not yet loved. Pop psychology and positive thinking will not get you there. Activate GRACE (TM) will.
Envisioning the future will not get you what you want, unless what you envision is in alignment with your authentic Hierarchy of Values. This can be especially challenging as we go through midlife. Why? In midlife we go though a major Values System shift. The things and experiences that used to inspire and enliven us, that felt important and meaningful, just don’t anymore ….but the new, emergent values system is not yet fully apparent. In the liminal space between the old and new Values Systems is confusion, depression, frustration. Keeping on keeping on doing the things we have always done becomes harder to do, but giving ourselves permission to simply stop feels impossible. The solution is to de-addict ourselves from who we’ve been in order to become free to be who we’re being called to be. There is no really growth or metamorphosis without an identity crisis. You’re being called to own ALL of who you are and love it all! You are magnificent! A holographic reflection of All That IS. Their is nothing to improve or fix …….and everything to love!
Delight in the Present ….more and more I believe that prioritizing Delight is a spiritual practice! Life is short. Savor it. Appreciate it. Delight in all of it!