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Anger is not the problem

Anger is not the problem.
One’s beliefs about the cause of anger are the problem.
Ignorant believes: YOU are making me angry.
YOU are the problem.
Then she attacks.
YOU need to change, go away or die!
Better Educated knows:
I am the cause of my anger.
She asks: What is this saying about me, my fears and fantasies, my expectations of myself… Read More Anger is not the problem

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Love Liberates Us

In my interactions with, and studies of, successful people I have consistently heard them express gratitude to those people – parents, teachers, mentors – who have seen them bigger than they have been able to see themselves.
We all need at least one person who can see something in us that we can’t quite see in… Read More Love Liberates Us

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Freedom

My wish for you…….

how would it feel

to be completely authentic
to be true to yourself
to be a force for change
to say no when you mean no
to feel your feelings and not shut them down
to relax in your own skin
to breathe
to buy what you’d love to buy for yourself
to create an environment that feels good to you
to… Read More Freedom

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Amazing Grace

“Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
Tis grace that brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home” – Amazing Grace
Growing up in Africa, where conflict and strife between people were impossible to avoid, I wondered: what will it take for us to see our shared humanity, break down the barriers between… Read More Amazing Grace

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Why conflict is scary

What makes conflict scary is the mistaken belief that the other person – that thing out there – is the source of your anger.
Have you ever been blamed for making someone angry? Have you been attacked, criticized, tongue-lashed or dumped …for ‘making’ someone feel something they didn’t like? Were you really responsible for their feelings?… Read More Why conflict is scary

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Conflict’s Gift

When my first husband and I ran into trouble in our marriage we sought out a counselor. He told us the hardest people he ever worked with were the ones who said: ‘my parents never fought.’ Um, well, that would be me. My parents never fought … at least ‘not in front of the kids’.… Read More Conflict’s Gift

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If I had a daughter

If I had a daughter I’d want her to know
she is valuable
she is good
she is likeable
she deserves to be happy
she can have what she wants.
I’d want her to believe
that there are ways to get what she desires,
to have experiences that uplift her.
Her happiness matters to me.
It makes me happy.
If I had a daughter I’d want… Read More If I had a daughter

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Reflective anger?

In the end, all anger at others is anger at ourselves. The person we blame for our pain is never the cause of it. It’s our own unresolved anger at ourselves that makes us uncomfortable in the presence of the person we’re blaming. Anger is the indicator of our own deep, inner pain that arises… Read More Reflective anger?

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Richard Branson’s #1 Tip for Success: Be great with people!

One of the most successful entrepreneurs and iconic philanthropists, Sir Richard Branson, attributes his personal and business success to 4 key things: Staying healthy; being good with people; being certain that his businesses and humanitarian efforts add real value to people’s lives; and having fun!
Of these 4 things he says his # 1 lesson regarding… Read More Richard Branson’s #1 Tip for Success: Be great with people!

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Divorce’s gift

I have just been listening to a marketing webinar in which the audience was instructed to do 3 things:
1-    think of the most difficult challenges they’ve gone through,
2-    describe the greatest lessons learned through those struggles,
3-    and identify who would most love to hear what you know
These immediately popped into my head: divorce, my mother’s… Read More Divorce’s gift

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The Greatest Pains

The greatest pains we ever feel never have anything to do with anyone other than ourselves.
The greatest pains you ever feel are never caused by anyone other than yourself.
You are the cause and effect of every one of your experiences.
(I’m now taking a deep breath and waiting for your discomfort to surface ….)
I expect a… Read More The Greatest Pains